Exhaustion

I have been so exhausted for the past couple of days. I started weight lifting again yesterday. But that doesn't explain why I was tired before that. It must be school, its finally getting to me. Everyone else says that they're tired to, maybe we're all sick with some sleeping virus or something. A lot of them have mono though, I'm not worried about that, since I couldn't possibly have it (thank goodness).

Mental Block

Lately I have been having a hard time thinking clearly. I suppose this is what you'd call a mental block. From re-writing research papers to writing this blog, I just can't think!

I could use some ideas on what to write about too. If anyone has any suggestions, please voice them. I'd be happy to talk about nearly anything.

Puzzles

As you may have noticed in the last two posts, I have hidden words, and camouflaged phrases. I kind of want to see if people can figure out these things. Plus once I get better at this it could prove ot be fun. So, try and find the hidden phrase.

*note the first three posts are easy (this one the last one and the one before that)
**hint some letters just don't fit

Enough of the TV Stars!!!!!!!!!!!

Is anyone else sick of hearing about the people who are famous for either being stupid or being rich. I am! They really annoy me, it wouldn't be so bad if either A. they had some talent, or B. used there wealth for something important (I.E. cancer research, feeding the poor etc. etc.). They've gotten to the point where they seem to think that they are bigger and more important than everyone else, and that bothers me.

On top of that, they get away with breaking laws all the time, from being caught with drugs to drunk driving. They never get in trouble, so what makes them so special, if I did anything like that I'd be looking at jail-time! But not them they're just so special (HA). I say arrest every one of them that has ever broken a law, to teach them a lesson about justice. No one should be immune to punishment. If I were any of them I would much rather serve my punishment in this life, because after its over there's no going back. Not that I'm qualified to make judgements like that, I'm just saying that I wouldn't want to take the risk.

Look at today's most influential people, we should be ashamed that we allow them to do what they do. The worst part is, that people are being influenced to act like them all of the time. A prime example is my class, just look at them for like five minutes and you'll see this. The girls all act like whats her name Paris something. And the guys all try to be like every comedian they see on comedy central,and quite frankly they do very poor impressions.

It all comes down to them being "starved for attention," if anyone is starved for attention its me (that was blunt), I just know how to control myself most of the time.

So here's an idea; stop idolizing idiots, and wake up to reality. You'll never be one of them because face it, you go to St. Paul's which means you weren't born famous, or rich enough to be famous. I know its harsh but its true, and the truth hurts. I'm not saying you will never be famous, I'm saying you won't be famous for accomplishing nothing at all, you will have to do something important first. Good luck with that.

To most of my overly obsessed class, these are stars not you.

Figure that out.

Clue: it has to do with the picture

A different light part II

I said I would continue the first one of these posts so, I will tell you some more about me (uh oh).

People always see me the wrong way and it drives me insane. Is that reasonable? I have no means of truly expressing myself accurately. I often try, but people (my class in particular) twist my image well enough to convince everyone that I am some terrible uncaring monstrosity of a person (if they give me the courtesy of calling me a person I don't know). I would like to tell them all to go take good looks at themselves, and tell me what they see. Most of them (not all) would see exactly what they describe me as.

I understand that I started this post on a rather dark note, but I needed to say something. As I mentioned on Katy's blog in one of the comments, I am forced to keep silent about things that really matter to me. These things range from political issues to feelings. I want to express my views, but if I do everything will backfire and end up hurting me. So, as of right now, I don't care and I am going to speak my mind about everything that is thrown at me.

I have to start somewhere, so I think our nation's war is a good place to begin. I didn't want to go to war, but we're there, so we have to stay there until we're finished. If we don't we're all as good as dead when Iraq falls back into a stronger dictatorship, which is bound to happen. I don't think anyone, except the people who have been off at war, have the right to complain about it.

Next, the corrupt nature of our living environment(s). People (c)all me bad, but w(h)ile I'm certainly n(o)t perfect I qu(o)te the Bible and say "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." John 8:7. As you can see I know I'm not perfect, just wish peop(l)e would treat everyone well, because we're all on the same "playing field" when it comes to sin. I also believe that we need to acknowledge this if we truly want to get to Heaven. I just want to see people get along.

Sorry for repeating myself from post to post, but something must be done.

I don't know how you feel on this but, I would like you to tell me. If there's any hope at all its difficult to find, but some support would help.

This was more on my feelings, so I will probably continue this post with something more concrete later.

Try to find the hidden word, this one's easy.
Clue: Its the environment I talk about through nearly the whole thing, and it is really easy.

Katy's Poems

I just finished reading Katy's poems. They are really good, and I wish I could write like that. But, seriously, go check them out, follow the link that says "Katy's Blog" on the side of the page. Matt and Daniel if you read this you need to update, I enjoy reading your blogs, but Matt you haven't updated for a while (understandable because you don't have Internet).

Weekends

Weekends are cool. Especially when it is nice out like this. I want to do something, but what I do not know. In other news Francisco has his blog operating again, I'm emailing math fair stuff to Daniel, (musical) Alex is sending me music papers (hopefully), I'm going to try and de-frag my computer (it hasn't been able to since we got road-runner), and I plan on attempting to add more pictures.

School was boring (as usual). We learned (oh no) in German class. I guess I have to type a "Friday Report," that is due Monday, for Earth Science. My physical science teacher was freaking out because the OGT is in two weeks and she thinks we aren't ready. Other than that nothing even remotely interesting has happened. Hopefully the weekend will be good.

Gym

The first of many records in gym fell to me today (at least I think it did). While there is some controversy, about three quarters of my class say that I took the record, and a few others are saying that another kid got it (just to confuse me (as they said)). The record was in pull-ups, I did twenty-two. The old record was twenty-one set by a friend from XC.

I also hold the unofficial track (weight-lifting) record for wide grip pull-ups. I got eight, no body else got one.

It helps that I trained all summer for this.

So wish me luck in my future endeavors to break other gym records like sit-ups and maybe the running tests.

List of cool webpages added

As the title says, I added a list of cool web pages.
Check them out if you get time.

P.S. A lot of credit goes to Daniel for starting the list for me.

My new phrase

Fear the tape...

Daniel, Chris this means you!!!

:)

A different light

OK, so this is the name of my blog. So I bet you can guess what this is...
... my story. I caution you though, it could possibly change your perspective on me. It probably won't but I still have to warn you.

My story before high school doesn't really matter, all you need to know is that kids always picked on me (after sixth grade), and it was partially responsible for making me the way I am now.

I came into high school with only a couple of friends and let's face it I didn't fit in at all. I didn't feel to great about that (although I always say that I don't care I really do). So after a long and tedious attempt at finding friends, I realized that very few people meet my extremely high expectations (the ones who did I proudly call my friends today). I know it sounds bad to have expectations for my friends, so let me explain. They have to be good people (difficulty 9), be themselves and no one else (difficulty 9.5), they would never force me to do something that is just wrong, even though I would probably forgive them within a day (difficulty varies), and they have to be worthy of my trust (difficulty 10). Those are my friends, everyone else I just deal and get along with.

You're probably thinking to yourself that I brought the misfortune of being a pariah down on myself. You are absolutely right (as usual). I did this to myself, and if I had a choice I would do everything the same way again, because if I changed anything, I wouldn't have the friends I have today. In case you haven't figured it out, my friends mean the world to me, that is a major reason why, like Daniel, I don't like changes.

I have really low self-esteem, a result of being weak against the nearly harmless thoughts of others. I am also severely depressed at times. It's not fun, but I'm not asking you to pity me just to try and understand. I feel emotions very strongly, so I always try to hide them, and up until recently I did a pretty decent job. I am also nervous all of the time, so if I am acting weird, stupid, or just immature it means I'm nervous. The nervous disorder is worse for me than the depression, because it doesn't go away from time to time. I made it almost three months without being depressed at all, from the end of last year to just recently, a record for me.

Now that my medical history is out of the way I will try to describe the quagmire that people call my mind. I try as best as I can to be honest, but no one is perfect. I care too much about nearly everything (I try as hard as I can to avoid letting anyone know this (if that makes sense)). I like being in contact with people who I know, new people make me nervous until I get used to them. I enjoy being outside, especially during Summer and Fall. I can be nearly invisible at times (not meant to be taken literally), because I tend to blend in with any group of people that I am near.

I use duct tape to fix virtually any problem that comes my way. I enjoy rock music as you already know. I am not very good at guitar yet but I have accomplished a few things; the James Bond theme song, "Smoke on the Water" (I still need the tab in front of me though), "Live and Let Die" (again with the aid of a tab), and the beginning of "Sweet Child O' Mine."

I don't like to brag but I had a near perfect GPA last year (4.2 range). I run a lot, because I have to be good at it next year.

As my info says, most people consider me to be dark. This is because I tend to distance myself from people other than my friends. Also because, as I said (in my info) I am realistic, which usually makes me sound pessimistic. Optimism is generally not one of my strong points. I believe that everything is part of some religious truth (the deeper meaning that God intends to reveal), or another. So basically I believe that everything has a purpose.

For anyone who would like to know, I follow the rules. I don't drink, do drugs or any of the other things that are mentioned in the other blogs that are linked to mine. On a lighter note, I like pie. This should confuse you, so I will explain; it is a joke between me Francisco, Matt, and Chris. I don't expect you to understand, so don't worry about it.

That's all for now, I will write more on the topic in a later post.

The Only Poem I Wrote that Anyone Thought was Good

I wrote this for my poetry project a few months back, most of the people I showed it to thought it was good, my English teacher didn't like it but that doesn't surprise me.

So here goes...

The Hope I See

I see hope every day.
In my friends and enemies,
In acquaintances and strangers alike,
In clarity and confusion,
In life and in death,
I see hope everywhere.

My few friends give me hope for myself, and for others.
My enemies give me hope for a change in myself,
That one-day they may no longer be my foes.
Acquaintances give me hope for the present.
Strangers give me hope for the future.
Clarity gives me the hope that I will find success.
Confusion gives me the hope that everything will turn out all right.
Life gives me hope for love.
Death gives me hope that God will welcome me.

-Storm-

P.S. In the project there was a picture of a white rose, a silent tribute to one of my best friends, who was somehow responsible for completely changing the way I think.

P.S.S. I added the picture but its a bit blurry.

Top 5 (power) ballads ever

If you can call them that...

5. "November Rain" by Guns N' Roses

4. "Don't Cry (original version)" by Guns N' Roses

3. "Home Sweet home" by Motley Crue

2. "Forever" by KISS

1. "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica (real shocker I know)


I don't seem like the type to listen to ballads do I? Well I do, I also enjoy instrumentals, I am listening to "Orion" by Metallica right now. When you hear the name "Orion" what color comes to your mind? I ask weird questions like that all of the time. And if anyone wants to know I think of red.

What's in a name?

My blog's old name was "?????" (colorful isn't it). Well now it's "A different light" for a couple of reasons. First, the old name was awful. Second, I hope it will cast "A different light" on my eccentric and foreign ways of thinking. Lastly, I think it sounds cool.

P.S. After having been inspired by a few of my friends I will attempt to give you a clearer picture of who I am than my info or anything else on this blog does. I will hopefully start tomorrow.

New look... sort of

I have changed a few things with my blog see if you can tell the difference.

Coming Home part II

I just got back from the coming home dance, and admittedly I had a great time. Not everything went as planned, but it was still completely awesome. I did win the election for the sophomore class representative. I wore cool sunglasses and basically told everyone at the dance to "rock on" when I got called up. A lot of people laughed, and so did I so it wasn't really at me like it usually is.

After that I actually loosened up to have a fun time (if only Daniel had been there, he would have died laughing). I also "kind of" got a date at the last second with one of my good friends (who is anonymous because I don't like putting any names on here without the person who the name belongs to giving me permission). By the way if you are reading this; thank you so much I had a great time and I hope you did too.

One other majorly shocking thing happened, the DJ actually played the song I requested. That song was of course "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica. So what I am saying here is that the DJ was the best DJ we've had at any of the dances I've ever been to.

A Picture of Me (In Words)

Everything you think you know about me is wrong (depending on who you are). I rarely show people the real me. At least not directly. Trying to understand me isn't a complete waste of time though, I do sometimes hint at the real me, who is probably nearly the opposite of who you think I am.

One thing is for sure though, there is nothing here for me. And as soon as I get the opportunity I will be long gone. I don't know where I will go though; what state, what college, what job?

In the meantime I will continue to be trapped by my age and every mistake I have ever made.

Good Music

I would recommend that anyone who goes to St.Paul's look up the song "Subdivisions" by Rush, it is basically all about our school.

"Subdivisions; in the high-school halls, in the shopping malls. Conform or be cast out. Subdivisions; in the basement bars, in the backs of cars. Be cool or be cast out." (Obviously all credit for these lines goes to Rush)

On a different note, it has been awhile since I stopped listening to country music, but there is at least one song that I still like. That song is "Just to See You Smile" by Tim McGraw. I don't know why I like this song, considering that I generally dislike any country music that isn't classic. So I guess it isn't all about extreme face melting guitar solos and and singers who, no matter how hard you try, you can't figure out what they are saying.

Another good song is "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses. This is just generally a good song. It is one of the very few goals I have when it comes to learning to play guitar. Currently I can do the first four pages of the sheet music, unfortunately the song is twenty pages long.

Two other good songs (that I will eventually try to learn are) "Ride the Lightning" by Metallica and "All Hells Breakin Loose" by KISS.

Another cool song is "Seek and Destroy" by Metallica.

Finally, my absolute favorite song, is "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica. This also demonstrates that people don't understand me, because this song is a ballad. Most people think that a guy like me could never even like a ballad, let alone have it be his favorite song.

If you have any other music suggestions, besides the ones that you already know that I know please feel free to let me know.

Am I Really as Evil as My Class Says?

My class always says that I am evil, and it really bothers me. I don't think I'm that bad, I just don't like socializing a lot. I wouldn't ever hurt anyone, and I don't go out of my way to make people miserable, in fact I try not to do that at all. It might also be because I don't enjoy guys hugging me (guys, but that is just my opinion). So please tell me if I really sound as bad as they make me out to be?

How Awesome is Duct Tape?

This is a rhetorical question of course, because everyone knows duct tape is incredible. It can fix anything that is broken, and can "upgrade" anything that needs it. So, for anyone reading this if you ever need to fix something, or just need something to pass the time with do not hesitate to pull out a roll of duct tape.

P.S. I highly recommend chrome duct tape

The Many Conflicts in My School

This is my first blog, so if I make a lot of mistakes or just do something terribly wrong please let me know on the comments page.

All right, schools everywhere have their fair share of conflict right? I would like to say that I go to a (high) school that doesn't have much. But, if I told you that I would be a liar. My school is admittedly pretty terrible when it comes to acceptance between students. In the past couple of years we have had a noticeable amount of my classmates switch schools because they got tired of the way they are treated here. The most recent being one of my best friends. As if that's bad enough, the worst part is that my school is a private school.

My friend that left, said that she was tired of being picked on by the people in my class, and in the other classes, and I figured that it wouldn't be long before something was done. But as usual I believe that I was wrong. Our Dean of Students, whose name is withheld, threatened to punish the primary perpetrators (alliteration, my English teacher would almost be proud), by taking them off of their respective sports if their behavior towards other students did not change. I say this because our school is severely obsessed with sports like football and volleyball. Well guess what, it did not change at all. In fact I have to say that things have gotten worse.

Before I go any further with the problem today, I should probably give you some background information. The whole problem, which is more like a never ending series of small conflicts, started around the time that I was in sixth grade. Back then as hard as it is to believe, I was one of the popular kids. I began to notice that there were tensions starting between a couple groups of my friends. These groups were the "rich popular" kids, a group that I was a part of depending on the state of my friendship with their two main "leaders" (I wasn't even close to being rich), and the group that wasn't terribly popular at the time (but would be later in my eyes and plenty of other people's anyway). I would associate them as having been my closer friends at the time. The aggressors were as one could guess the rich kids. I sided with my friends, and lost any chance of remaining a member of the "rich kids" who eventually tried to become their own gang of sorts. This conflict escalated for the next couple of years, earning our class at least one talk from a teacher a year about how to treat other people.

Eighth grade was when the problem temporarily subsided, at least i thought it did. This was also the year that the friend I talked about earlier first started coming to my school. She was immediately regarded as our "class prophet" because of her upbeat positive attitude, and because of her strong relationship with God (sorry if I offended anyone, but to fully understand the story you need to know this). She seemed to have an immediate impact on my class that lasted until about the end of the year. It was Freshman year when everything relapsed and became terrible again. This happened because she began to lose her influence, and a few people found her weaknesses. I was blissfully unaware of what was happening, I was busy making some new friends in other grades and re-initiating contact with some old friends (if you're reading this you know who you are). But enough reminiscing, I'll shorten the story to this; she got sick of it and left my school towards the beginning of my Sophomore year.

Now I am trying to change the way things work here, because the teachers and anyone else who could have any influence on them failed. So I am going to try again (I tried this once before but failed miserably). So I suppose that the purpose of this post is to try and find help from other people on how to deal with the problem, without getting in a fight or getting expelled. So please leave comments if you can help me. Thank you for taking your time to read this.