Friday, March 9, 2007

Still on my own...

This year has been good, so far. I have finally fallen in with a group of friends, and that's good. But I still feel like I'm on the outside. I'm just too different. I've tried to conform, but that hasn't helped because I acknowledge that I can't do it. I have tried to relax and have fun, but that obviously hasn't worked. I realize that when I do that I let my guard down, and whenever I let my guard down bad things happen. I don't think that I will ever be in the "inner circle." People are at least trying to understand me now, but I think I've given them a puzzle that they couldn't possibly solve. So, life will go on the same way it always has and probably always will. No past a hopeless present and a nearly invisible future.

3 comments:

AmericasNextFreak said...

Hey its me again.

I'll let you know that i've felt the same way alot. Don't try to make people like you.

I like you as yourself anyway.

Letting your guard down... i really never have done that before this year, because i had been let down by so many people, and my family wasn't doing so hot either. I felt like the only person i could depend on was myself.

I don't want to say i know exactly how you feel (i'm no psychic), but i want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, or any time you feel this way, because I went through something similar, and possibly i could make you feel that much better.

If you need to talk, I'm here.

Sylvia

piano boy said...

Hey, what did I tell you about being depressed?? Ta not to-Cars Reference. I'll talk to you tommorow.

AmericasNextFreak said...

so many things went unsaid in that comment. like at the end of the second paragraph... "because i love you"

^__^